


Shadows and light

by OhWilloTheWisp



Category: Being Human (US/Canada)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-10 23:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12310329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhWilloTheWisp/pseuds/OhWilloTheWisp
Summary: Kat finds out the truth about Aiden, about vampires and monsters, she just isn't sure what to do with the truth once she has it.





	Shadows and light

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brightaspiring](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightaspiring/gifts).



> I had started writing this for Yuletide in 2015, but it turned out to be a little too experimental to use as my gift. But I've been going through my WIP folder and I decided to dust it off and finish it up. 
> 
> This is my interpretation of what Kat might have been thinking after finding out that vampires were real.

That was the problem with knowing, it changed everything. The world was exactly the same as it had been the day before, but for Kat the world she thought she knew had shattered. It didn’t make sense, it was real but it couldn’t be real. Monsters didn’t exist, they weren’t flesh and blood. They myths and fantasies, created by people as a way of dealing with a world they didn’t understand. Vampires weren’t fact, they were poor souls with a disease. Vampires weren’t real. And yet they were. Even as she tried to deny it to herself she knew the truth was undeniable. How could it all seem so normal? Everyone else was acting like the world was exactly the same, as if there was nothing hiding in the shadows. And to them it was. But it wasn’t the same for her. She was in the grocery store, what should have been a mundane necessity had been twisted into something almost surreal. It had been a week since she first found out what Aiden was, but she was still couldn’t quite believe it. No matter what she did it kept pushing back up to the forefront of her mind.

Eggs were on sale. Vampires are real. Not much of a sale, does 10 cents off really count as a sale? Aiden’s a vampire. He drinks blood. He’s killed people. He could have killed her. Should she call the police? Maybe they already know. If she couldn’t tell Aiden was a vampire then how can she be sure who else is. Can she trust the police? Is she being paranoid? If they don’t know they would never believe her. Who in their right minds would believe her, they would think she was crazy. Is she crazy? Did she imagine it all?  
The man next to her is staring at her, giving her a funny look. She’s been staring at the eggs for too long. He probably thinks there’s something wrong with her, maybe there is. She moves along, she hates feeling like she’s being watched. She feels too exposed, who else knows? Can they tell she knows?

Everything she once took for granted takes on a different light. The cashier’s fingers skim her hand when he takes her money. He has cold hands. Aiden had cold hands. She wonders if his heart beats or if it’s still like Aiden’s was. How did she never notice that he had no heart beat? Maybe she did, maybe she was just too blind to see what was right in front of her. The cashier smiles at her and wishes her a nice day, as if her world isn’t falling apart. She might not be crazy yet, but she will be if she keeps going on like this. She can’t keep questioning everything she thought she knew, wondering about every person she meets.

She needs answers, she needs to understand. She may have been in the dark before, but she isn’t now and she needs to understand the world as it really is, not as she thought it was.

She goes to the library, and as she walks she looks into the eyes of those passing her by. For a moment she thinks she sees the glint of yellow in a man’s eyes, and is it her imagination or does his lip pull back in a snarl? Or maybe it’s just the lights from above giving him that look. Her heart races and she takes a few deep breaths to try and steady her nerves. She wishes she could look into the eyes (or hearts? Souls?) of strangers and see their true natures. But would that really make her feel better? If she knew for a fact that the woman who brushes past her was a vampire, would that really be a comfort? Perhaps it was better to live in the dark. At least she wants to believe that, she was calmer before, before she knew. But now staying in the dark seems a cold comfort. If you know there is a predator shift, skulking, and moving just out of sight, is that really a comfort? Or is it better to look it in the eye and see the true nature of the beast. Perhaps what scares her most is that she can’t answer that question with any form confidence. When she was a child and she was afraid of monsters she would hide under her covers, as if hiding from monsters would somehow keep her safe. But as an adult she understands that hiding in ignorance isn’t going to keep her safe. 

She goes to the mythology and monsters section of the library, briefly overwhelmed by the sheer scope of the selection. It isn’t the first time she’s encountered books on monsters, popular media is inundated with them. Vampires and werewolves are everywhere, she can hardly flip the channel without some angst ridden vampire scowling back at her. But this is different, this is real. It changes her perspective as she skims the titles of the books. She had always taken the approach that peoples of the past, may have truly believed in monsters and demons, but they were incorrect. They were trying to make sense of a world that was vast and confusing, trying to make it all work together in a logical way. But modern science and knowledge had shined a bright light into every corner and shed light on the truth, and their ignorance. But now as she looks over the tomes a different idea comes to mind. What if they were correct, and it is the modern world that is ignorant, or trying to hide from a truth too horrible to face? What if it’s all real, harpies, and gods and demons, vampires and werewolves, and all those things that go bump in the night? Perhaps man was too terrified of what it couldn’t understand and couldn’t understand, so it was all swept under the rug and labeled, “myth?” But what was she supposed to do, now that she understood? It was too vast, too terrible to imagine all those predators out for human blood, knowing deeply that there was nothing she could do about it.

And in that moment she knew, she knew if she had the choice she would go back to her blissful ignorance. Perhaps it was better to live in the light, but if there was nothing she could do about it, at least there was peace in the dark.


End file.
